Multiple times.

To my great, great, GREAT delight.

*spoilers for Bleach through MANGA CHAPTER 344*



For one thing, I was proven wrong in my resolve to hold out for a while and wait to read on in the manga. And I was also proven wrong with my pacing. I planned on doing one issue a night, or two issues...I wound up doing four. Or something like that.

Ulquiorra fight.

*SPOILERS FOR BLEACH THROUGH MANGA CHAPTER 344*
*BLEACH SPOILERS THROUGH MANGA 344***
***BLEACH 344 SPOILERS...THE PRIDE***

Okay. So. Let me make a few things clear:

*MOMENTARY SPOILERS FOR THE REST OF THE ULQUIORRA BATTLE*

All I knew about the Ulquiorra battle was this:

1. Ichigo beats Ulquiorra.
2. Ichigo is down at halftime. With a capital "D".
3. Orihime is, once again, and despite all the development of her character, a useless lump of a damsel.
4. Loly and Menoly get involved.
5. Yammy gets involved.
6. Ulquiorra releases into a bat with the command "Bind" and then an unknown sword-name. SPOILER-FREE 4EVAH!!!
7. Ichigo does it all alone with an inexplicable burst of power.

*END POTENTIAL SPOILERS THAT I DO NOT KNOW OF YET*
*BACK TO STANDARD SPOILERS*
*IF YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE READING THIS, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST STOP NOW...BASICALLY, IF YOU'RE AHEAD OF ME IN THE BLEACH MANGA, YOU'RE FINE*

Whatever the case, several things were proven DEAD WRONG.

But first...

I should give some credit to number 7. And Ichigo's dialogue. And his first (of hopefully many) Crowning Moment of Awesome when he CATCHES ULQUIORRA'S HAND IN A BIT OF LOGICAL SWORDPLAY. For once, it's not "Power A > Power B = Power A wins!". He uses his head, a bit of strategy, and his skills to get a hit in. Not much of a hit, but hey, it's a start. And it levels the playing field.

But that's not enough for Berry-tan. No, no, no. It's NOT ENOUGH.

Because he then manages to not only explain his own increase in power, but also EXPLAIN THAT ULQUIORRA HAS, INDEED, BEEN NERFED. And not because the plot demanded it. He actually gave a sound reason. That I'm sure many a Ulquihime shipper flailed over.

"Have I become more like a Hollow...or have you become more human?"

Big Red Button? I think I'll push it!

I had previously credited Ulquiorra's little hand stab with Ichigo's increase in power; the reiatsu that Orihime observed to be swirling around and mixing with Ichigo actually strengthened him (in my mind) and allowed him to be more connected to his Hollow form. Ichigo's line gives some credence to that theory, which may never be proven or disproven. The fact that Tite Kubo spent almost a whole issue pointing out that Ichigo is unnaturally more powerful than he should be, though, suggests that he actually knows what he's doing. It's not the random power-jump I've heard people griping about and was always afraid of. I mean, I hope he has some good explanation in the future, but for now I'm willing to ride along with it.

But back to that Big Red Button.

Ulquiorra smashes the floor (in a panel that really lends itself to a comic gag...picture a pair of cymbals, or a bear trap) as the Berserk Button demands, and promptly denies such silly notions as "becoming more human." Which, of course, is only confirmation of that actually happening. Yay, noble side of the dark guy! Yay, Orihime's monologues finally being useful!

And speaking of being useful....

Crowning.

Moment.

Of.

AWESOME.

Orihime.

Completely defying my expectations, fulfilling my hopes, and basically BEING AWESOME...she INTERFERES WITH THE BATTLE. She BLOCKS THE BLADE. SHE DOES SOMETHING.

It's minor, but it's enough to keep Ichigo from becoming Ich and Igo, and also enough to make Ulquiorra launch into a monologue of blithering rage. Or something like that.

Yammy makes his cameo. Along with his puppy. That I'd heard of...but always pictured as being a giant monster. A savage beast. Not...a PUPPY. Tite Kubo is a straaaaaange man.

With horns.

The puppy. Not Kubo.

Insert inappropriate joke here.

ANYWAY.

Where was I?

Oh, yes, Loly and Menoly coming in and being all "We R teh evullllz!" And Orihime being all "...what???" and Ulquiorra and Ichigo being "...um..." and "...stop that!" and all the readers being, "Er...where is this going, exactly, Mr. Kubo?"

Fortunately, before anything can get TOO awkward, Yammy does his Kool-Aid Man impression and bursts through the wall. So fast, he left his hole behind and actually mirrorized the page!!!

Meanwhile, Ichigo is furthering his "it's not all about random power boosts" thing by KEEPING THE GETSUGA IN HIS SWORD TO AMP HIS POWER. Which I actually understood even before he explained it.

And Ulquiorra is growing more and more annoyed. Especially because there are women and trolls interrupting his battle. Grimmjow didn't have any interruptions. Except for the women. But the women in his battle were actually watching the battle. Not interfering and distracting. Not much, anyway.

Fortunately for Ulquiorra, unfortunately for a number of people, and VERY unfortunately for Menoly, Yammy is bored and continues his misogynistic hobby of Smashing Women With Fists. Loly, however, decides to earn herself some points in the respect department and pulls a dagger from Victoria's Secret Compartment (is ANYONE keeping track of how many Tropes I'm referencing here?). Which Yammy decides to Lampshade. I'm on a roll here.

Loly then releases into a giant centipede-y thing. Which Yammy skooshes. Because he's a meany-meanface. And he also felt like cutting off her whole "I'm gonna kill you and Ulquiorra for no actually explicit reason" thing before she actually gave some sort of reason. And then he dropped her.

...

And then I WAS BLOWN OUT OF MY MIND BECAUSE SOMEONE ACTUALLY JOINED THE BATTLE. A FASHIONABLY-CHALLENGED, BLUE-BOWED, FOUR-EYED SOMEONE!!! WITH CHIVALRY!!!

And land mines.

To summarize, he blew Yammy off the cliff. Didn't finish him off, and I have no doubts that the ape will return, but hey, he's out of the battle. And he got to do something. Ishida got to do something, too. Before being chivalrous.

QUINCYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Pride of the Quincies foreverrrrrrrrrr!

And then Ichigo turned on the power of the Mask.

And...this time, it's a ROARING mask. Which is awesome. And also says, "Oh, hey, bring it on, Grimmjow, I'll squash you. So this fight against Ulquiorra is a FIGHT."

And Ulquiorra decided that they needed to take this thing outside. And so he scampered to the appropriately climactic peak of Las Noches, and said one word. One word only.

"Bind."

HE IS GOING TO RELEASE.

HE IS GOING TO RELEASE.

INTO A BAT.

A BIG, WINGED BAT.

FLAPPY-FLAPPY.

WITH WINGS.

BAT WINGS.

TO FLY WITH.

AND CAUSE THE FANDOM TO FREAK OUT OVER.

AND SPOIL PEOPLE.

WHO WON'T CARE.

BECAUSE HE'S A BAT. A DEMON BAT. BAT BAT BAT.

FLIETERMOUSE (sp)!!!

COUNT ULQUIORRA VON LAS NOCHES!!!

....

....


....


To read on? Or not to read on?

THAT is the question.

I don't want to go too fast, do I?


Oh, right. NO SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT.

JUST A FEW MORE DAYS. OR WEEKS. GUYS.


Or hours.

I dunno.

DAYS.

YES.

DAYS.

Eh. I can last a week.

I think.

I've been wrong before. *points at title*

A BAT, GUYS. A BAT.

WITH WINGS.

NO SPOILERS.

I'M GOOD FOR THREE OTHER ESPADA.